ALICE: Ah... tea.
MAD HATTER, MARCH HARE, DORMOUSE: No room! No room! No room!
ALICE: There's plenty of room! I'll sit here.
MARCH HARE: Have some wine.
ALICE: I don't see any wine.
MARCH HARE: There isn't any.
ALICE: Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it.
MARCH HARE: It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited.
ALICE: I didn't know it was your table. It's laid for a great many more than three.
MAD HATTER: Your hair wants cutting.
ALICE: You should learn not to make personal remarks. It's very rude.
MAD HATTER: Why is a raven like a writing-desk?
ALICE: I believe I can answer that.
MARCH HARE: Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?
ALICE: Exactly so.
MARCH HARE: Then you should say what you mean.
ALICE: I do... at least I mean what I say. That's the same thing, you know.
MAD HATTER: Not the same thing a bit! Why, you might just as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!
MARCH HARE: You might just as well say that "I like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!
DORMOUSE You might just as well say that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!
MAD HATTER: It is the same thing with you. Have you guessed the riddle yet?
ALICE: No, I give up. What's the answer?
MAD HATTER: I haven't the slightest idea.
MARCH HARE: Nor I. Suppose we change the subject. (yawning) I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.
ALICE: I'm afraid I don't know one.
MARCH HARE: Then the Dormouse shall! Wake up, the Dormouse!
DORMOUSE: I wasn't asleep. I heard every word you fellows were saying.
MAD HATTER: What day of the month is it?
ALICE: Um... The fourth.
MAD HATTER: Two days wrong! (looking angrily at the March Hare) I told you butter wouldn't suit the works!
MARCH HARE: It was the best butter.
MAD HATTER: Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well. (grumbling) You shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.
MARCH HARE: It was the best butter, you know.
ALICE: What a funny watch! It tells the day of the month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!
MAD HATTER: Why should it? Does your watch tell you what year it is?
ALICE: Of course not... But that's because it stays the same year for such a long time together.
MAD HATTER: Which is just the case with mine.
ALICE: I don't quite understand you.
DORMOUSE: I wasn't asleep. I heard every word you fellows were saying.
MARCH HARE: Tell us a story!
ALICE: Yes, please do!
MAD HATTER: And be quick about it or you'll be asleep again before it's done.
DORMOUSE: Once upon a time there were three little sisters and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well...
ALICE: What did they live on?
DORMOUSE: They lived on treacle.
ALICE: They couldn't have done that, you know. They'd have been ill.
DORMOUSE: So they were; very ill.
ALICE: But why did they live at the bottom of a well?
DORMOUSE: It was a treacle-well.
ALICE: There's not such thing.
MAD HATTER, MARCH HARE, DORMOUSE: Shh... Shh... Shh...
DORMOUSE: If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for yourself.
ALICE: No, please go on! I won't interrupt you again. I dare say there may be one.
DORMOUSE: One, indeed! And so these three little sisters... they were learning to draw, you know...
ALICE: What did they draw?
DORMOUSE: Treacle.
ALICE: I don't understand. Where did they draw treacle from?
MAD HATTER: You can draw water out of a water-well, so I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well... eh, stupid?
ALICE: But they were in the well!
DORMOUSE: Of course they were... well in. (they laugh) They were learning to draw and they drew all manner of things... everything that begins with an M.
ALICE: Why with an M?
MARCH HARE: Why not?
DORMOUSE: That begins with an M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness... you know you say things are "much of a muchness". Did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?
ALICE: Really, now you ask me, I don't think...
MAD HATTER: If you don't think, you shouldn't talk.
ALICE: I've had enough of this rudeness. I'll never come here again! It's the stupidest tea-party I was ever at in all my life!
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